Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
