I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
