Nicole vs. Life
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
