My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
