i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
