Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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