I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
