Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
