32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
