hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize