Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
