I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
