I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So much Jack, so little girl.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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