My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
