he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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