the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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