FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
