Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
