yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
