Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
be right there i have to get my cape
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
