Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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