i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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