have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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