I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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