my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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