oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
