Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
