Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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