I am puke
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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