Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
