It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
