Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
