Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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