yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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