a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
