in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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