1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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