I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
