i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
