go do what you do best...puke behind churches
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
