This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
