using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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