i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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