miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
