WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She's not a foreskin expert like you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
