so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
