i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
