Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Send help, water and tortillas.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
