batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome†in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
