I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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