Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
