Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
