If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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