Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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