My liver just broke up with me...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
