I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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