David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
