we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
