Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Randomize
