yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
