You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
