i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
