Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
