It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
