Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
