Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
