Me too!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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