Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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