You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
