Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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