I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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