I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
